Dec 26, 2013
WTF? Paris Hilton Names Paris Hilton Among World’s Top 5 DJs

Wow. Paris Hilton, allow us to remove our hats to you. Better yet, we’re removing our clothes and lathering ourselves with bubbles as we write this: DJ Hilton was recently named one of the world’s top five DJs by… Paris Hilton.

After an unspeakably impressive five-month stint as a “DJ,” professional famous person Paris Hilton’s meteoric career has reached a new zenith. Amnesia Ibiza foam parties and projects with influential electronic music names like Lil Wayne and Cash Money Records have skyrocketed her to the top five of Paris Hilton’s Top five DJ list, she announced to TMZ.

The heiress dropped the bombshell at LAX, after returning from a trip to Moscow … when we asked if her foray into the world of electronic music has been paying off financially.

And how did she respond, you ask? Like this, of course:

“I’m one of the top 5 in the world, so…”

Don’t bother checking any of the reputable top 100 DJ lists of the year–you won’t find her. In terms of money however, as TMZ points out, she might not be TOO far off, but she didn’t make Forbes’ highest paid DJs of 2013 list. If we know Paris like we think we do, her primary language is money (right after self-satisfied gibberish), meaning this is the scale by which she can be expected to measure her success. Unfortunately, that means she’s sadly mistaken and her to-do list still has “become hawtter than Pauly D” on it. Keep at it, sweetheart, and please send us an invite to your next foam party so we can say no.