Simon Cowell, everyone’s favorite TV talent show critic, is turning his endless wisdom on dance music with a new show titled Ultimate DJ, a collaboration with SFX Entertainment.
It was reported in a press release from SFX and partner Syco, the cleverly spelled media company headed up by Cowell himself, that the two are teaming with T-Mobile for a program centered on “EMC” (SFX’ acronym for “electronic music culture”) and judging submissions to decide who’s Got Talent, or The X Factor, or what-have-you.
After minor setbacks, Cowell will finally get his shot at the electronic music world, although since the submissions are via social media and not in person, there won’t likely be as many chances for public humiliation. The companies may want to reconsider inviting “DJs” to compete in “producer-challenges,” but no matter. EMC people will send in their EMC stuff and be judged. The best EMC will move on to live EMC challenges with spiffy special effects from SFX’ partner companies. No mention as to an air date as of yet.
We at LessThan3 are more than a little skeptical as to how this show is going to play out, so we decided to compile 11 shows we’d rather watch Simon Cowell belittle people on than Ultimate DJ:
1. So You Think You Can Little League?
“I’m sorry, but are you swinging at that ball? Or are you just epileptic? Because this is more of an embarrassment to an American pastime than veggie burgers.”
2. Fast Snails
3. America’s Got Shoe-Tying Ability
“That is the worst bow knot I’ve ever seen. Get out of here you don’t even deserve to wear shoes, gimme those… now, get out.”
4. World’s Deadliest Retired Fencer
5. So You Think You Can Make It Out Of The Hospital?
6. Physical Rehab Star
“Embarrassing. Just plain embarrassing.”
7. America’s Next Top Field Worker
“You call that digging? Just dig yourself a hole and jump in, because you, sir, are useless.”
8. Project Bubbles
“Do you think your parents are proud of you for those? Because they aren’t.”
“My bowel movements take longer than that filibuster just did.”
10. Oil Spill Cleanup
11. Feeding The Homeless
“Is that sub even organic?”