The most offensive thing with a PA system this New Year’s Eve won’t be Ryan Seacrest. Borgore has planned a New Year’s Eve Slumber Party at Pacha New York that looks to be full of enough confused junior college dropouts to open a brand new strip club. Since the very idea of sleeping anywhere near Borgore makes us want to drop everything and take a shower (or a morning-after pill), here are 10 things we’d rather do for New Year’s Eve than attend Borgore’s Slumber Party:
1. Attend R.Kelly’s Slumber Party
Bunk up with the Bump & Grinder himself?
2. Attend A DMV Seminar On License Renewal
You like this option? Get in line.
3. Pay Taxes In Advance Through 2020
4. Clean Up After Borgore’s Slumber Party
Prob still wanna wear protection tho.
5. Spoon With A Homeless Man
Relatively speaking, he’s kinda cute.
6. Eat Broken Glass
Unlike Borgore, stomachable with ranch.
7. Listen To Borgore’s Music
8. Look For Parking…
9. Triple Root Canal
Sign us up.