Aug 31, 2014
15 Likely Headliners At Electric Zoo 2015

Between shutdowns over deaths, mass surveillance, invasive drug searches, and freak storms, the once-lauded New York festival known as Electric Zoo seems to have reached the point of no return. Here are our predictions of the people who will likely be headlining the 2015 edition, if it happens at all:

1. NYPD Commissioner William Bratton, in his debut

2. Paris Hilton

3. Michael Bloomberg and Bill DeBlasio as Daft Punk

We swear that’s them under there.

4. Robert Skrillerman

5. A toaster

6. Grumpy cat b2b doge

7. Snoop Dogg x DJ Snoopadelic x Snoop Lion x Todd x Whatever his next publicity stunt is

8. DJ Hodor

9. This beautiful Grecian urn

10. Clay Aiken performing the hits of Tiesto

11. Shaq Performing the hits of Afrojack as “Afroshaq”

12. Aiden Jude

13. DJ Roomba

14. Nancy Reagan

15. McGruff The Crime Dog as a hologram